-Freeport resident of 2 years. Originally from Wiscasset.
In Elsie’s room a jar of sea glass sits high on the shelf adjacent to her bed. She looks up as I admire it. “Oh I love the ocean,” she says. “I miss it so much!” I settle down in the chair across from her, already feeling drawn in by her sweet spirit. Her round cheeks and gentle smile make me feel like I am visiting a childhood friend.
Elsie isn’t sure when she’ll get to see the ocean again. The beginning of Parkinson’s means she has less control over her memory and body these days. Today though, her memory is clear as she shares some of her life’s treasures with me.
Elsie and her entire family spent summers at the seaside. She remembers going to their rented beach house in New Hampshire from the time she was just 4 or 5 years old.“ My Nana, Great Grammy, uncle and aunt and cousins…we were quite a brood!” she laughs. “We’d come up for a month in the summer with my parents, making beach stops all along the way.” After a full day of beach hopping, the family was well spent before the vacation even started.
Elsie speaks fondly of her parents, Dana and Leone, and the time they spent together. “I wish I’d have appreciated them more for the many good things they did. Kids should.”
Elsie grew up with two siblings. She points to a black & white picture above her bed. It’s a photograph of her brother Buzzy. Their mother, Leone, contracted measles while she was pregnant. As a result, Buzzy was born with mental challenges. Elsie’s soft blue eyes light up when she describes him. “Oh, he was hilarious!” she says. “He was quick, witty, bright. We didn’t think he was any different, except he was smarter than most!”
Elsie suddenly grows quiet as the memory of her brother brings tears to her eyes. “He was my inspiration for living. He was everything to me.”
At a time when many people with mental disabilities were sent to institutions, Buzzy’s family chose to keep him home. “He went to school until 3rd grade but the teachers didn’t want to deal with him after that. So he just stayed home and picked up things from the rest of us.”
On weekends the family would pile in the car and go on drives for dessert. One time, their father Dana proclaimed teasingly “We gotta stop these drives. It’s getting too expensive!” Elsie joked that they would take up a collection for it. Buzzy yelled “No! Me give my money for dessert!”
She laughs. “So every Sunday he’d get to pay for dessert. He was a child, even though he wanted to be a grown up and pay his own way.”
Buzzy was a visible part of their small town and most folks treated him very well. He especially loved the town parade. “Dad had an original 1929 Chrysler. Oh it was beautiful! It was perfect.” We’d ride around and Buzzy just loved it. He loved waving at people, honking the horn and throwing candy to everyone.”
Elsie’s third husband Gordon, however, had a difficult time relating to her brother. Gordon wasn’t very patient with Buzzy and unlike the rest of the family, didn’t think he was funny. Buzzy felt afraid of him.
When I first met Elsie, I was drawn to her sweet and shy demeanor. As we spoke it became clear that underneath those traits lay a swift current of strength and determination. Those attributes were sharpened by her marriage to Gordon. They lived in Boothbay, working side by side at the propane business they owned while raising 5 children, some of whom came from previous marriages.
Elsie and Gordon met in Boothbay at a minstrel show. “It was terribly romantic…” she says, smiling. Elsie felt drawn to his carefree and joyful personality. “Gordon was a nice guy. He was caring, happy, and not too serious about most things. I really couldn’t stay mad at him” As the years passed though, Gordon struggled more and more with alcohol addiction. It increasingly fell on Elsie’s shoulder to hold onto their marriage, the business, and their children. The tipping point came one night after Gordon totaled their brand new car. Elsie sits taller in her chair and straightens her head as she remembers the tenacity she found to handle the situation. “I had him locked up for 5 days!” “He came home from jail and went to his first AA meeting and never took a drink again!”
Their business took off and life improved. “I was so proud of him. He made it when everyone in our town thought he was just a drunk.”
Gordon not only overcame his addiction, but became a lifeline and mentor for other young men in their town with the same problem. “He’d drive around and round up other people who needed help. We’d go to 10 AA meetings a week! We always had someone with us.”
Elsie was 49 when Gordon passed away from emphysema. Their propane company went to their sons, who eventually sold the business and moved on to other careers. Elsie remained in Boothbay until her health deteriorated and she moved to Freeport.
She enjoys visits from her family occasionally. It is clear, however, who remains the love of her life-Buzzy. She sits in reflection, the pain of losing him still so real. “He’d call me up and say ‘Morning Elsie! Doing today?’ It’s just not the same without him.”
“I learned a lot from Buzzy. Patience. Love. All the good things a child can give you.” She shakes her head as tears fall.
“I do love people. Buzzy taught me that.”
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| Elsie C. |
